I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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