Say something about gay babies.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
