Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
