After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
