one two three fourrrrnication!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
