Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
