I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
