dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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