I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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