yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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