the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
