What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
