38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
