Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
