Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize