She's JV to your varsity
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize