PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Betty ford says i'm here all night
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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