So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
