And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
