look no pants
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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