I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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