i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
