How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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