At least make sure they are 18
Why
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
