The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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