I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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