oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
