What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize