i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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