if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
