oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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