Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
