Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
