Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he quoted the bible to break up with me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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