"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If I die, sorry about rent.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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