He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
