I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my vag is so smooth its legendary
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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