Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
