i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
