Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
