But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
