It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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