How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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