If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
As shirtless as possible
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Can you bring me the toilet please
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
