Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
