I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
