I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
