Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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