Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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