i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
