I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
