I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
