You work out of a Hotel?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
