He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
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