On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
