I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
