Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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