I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
