what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
