What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
