Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
