he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
